Friday, June 13, 2008
Lucky Friday! Warning to those that know me, the following blog contains some graphic language, i.e. rectum and anal. If this offends you, read on.
colonoscopy
Audio Help (kō'lə-nŏs'kə-pē) Pronunciation Key Inspection of the interior surface of the colon with a flexible endoscope that is equipped to obtain tissue samples and inserted through the rectum.
Well Wednesday was the big day. Colonoscopy Day. Finally. It was my birthday gift to myself, even though the big 52 is not until July 16th. You might consider a colonoscopy an unusual gift. Consider the source. I was going to say that I had to give it to myself, ‘cause nobody else would ……wait a second. I know a few of you that would have loved to have given me a colonoscopy. Lol That gives me an idea for your birthday gift.
As many of you know, during the procedure I overheard the doctor mumble something that sounded like “my goodness, this guy is full of crap!” That shouldn’t surprise anybody. But the truth of the matter, the day before surgery was a real porcelain cracker of a day. As directed by the good doctor, I purchased a quaint product (just had to slip that word in even though it makes little cents) called a bowel cleanser. Wow! It worked. If I had installed a pressure sensor on my butt, (found a used one on ebay) I know it would have read over 100 psi. Wow! (Hey, I warned you.)
After all was said and done, like this blog is not, the entire 24 hours leading up to and including the procedure was a piece of cake. (now please don’t picture that, ok) I compared it to a typical morning after a day in Mexico, so all the time I spent in Mexico helped prepare me for this. Even the consumption of the 24 ounces of ‘bowel cleanser’. I found that if you mixed a little Patron Silver Tequila with the Phospho-soda, blended in a little ice and salted the rim, it was absolutely marvelous. In fact my roommate, who was unaware of the product, asked for a taste. OH, that was so tempting. (you don’t think I would actually do that, do you? Rhetorical, ok.)
Well, I got a clean bill of health except for one thing. Diverticulosis. I suggest that you try not to discuss this with your doctor while under sedation. I have no idea what my response was to her, but I can surmise that it wasn’t brilliant.
To those that have a mild curiosity, it means in English: Many people have small pouches in their colons that bulge outward through weak spots, like an inner tube that pokes through weak places in a tire. Each pouch is called a diverticulum. Pouches (plural) are called diverticula. Some of you Latin nerds out there just went “well, duh!” The condition of having diverticula is called diverticulosis. About half of all all people over the age of 60 have diverticulosis. There you go.
The doctor recommended another colonoscopy in 10 years, so that was the good news. I hate to say that it was actually a pleasure and I’m going back next week, but that would be sick. lol
Thanks to my brother Pete, who video-taped the procedure. See link below
(I can't believe you actually are looking for that link)
Lucky Friday! Warning to those that know me, the following blog contains some graphic language, i.e. rectum and anal. If this offends you, read on.
colonoscopy
Audio Help (kō'lə-nŏs'kə-pē) Pronunciation Key Inspection of the interior surface of the colon with a flexible endoscope that is equipped to obtain tissue samples and inserted through the rectum.
Well Wednesday was the big day. Colonoscopy Day. Finally. It was my birthday gift to myself, even though the big 52 is not until July 16th. You might consider a colonoscopy an unusual gift. Consider the source. I was going to say that I had to give it to myself, ‘cause nobody else would ……wait a second. I know a few of you that would have loved to have given me a colonoscopy. Lol That gives me an idea for your birthday gift.
As many of you know, during the procedure I overheard the doctor mumble something that sounded like “my goodness, this guy is full of crap!” That shouldn’t surprise anybody. But the truth of the matter, the day before surgery was a real porcelain cracker of a day. As directed by the good doctor, I purchased a quaint product (just had to slip that word in even though it makes little cents) called a bowel cleanser. Wow! It worked. If I had installed a pressure sensor on my butt, (found a used one on ebay) I know it would have read over 100 psi. Wow! (Hey, I warned you.)
After all was said and done, like this blog is not, the entire 24 hours leading up to and including the procedure was a piece of cake. (now please don’t picture that, ok) I compared it to a typical morning after a day in Mexico, so all the time I spent in Mexico helped prepare me for this. Even the consumption of the 24 ounces of ‘bowel cleanser’. I found that if you mixed a little Patron Silver Tequila with the Phospho-soda, blended in a little ice and salted the rim, it was absolutely marvelous. In fact my roommate, who was unaware of the product, asked for a taste. OH, that was so tempting. (you don’t think I would actually do that, do you? Rhetorical, ok.)
Well, I got a clean bill of health except for one thing. Diverticulosis. I suggest that you try not to discuss this with your doctor while under sedation. I have no idea what my response was to her, but I can surmise that it wasn’t brilliant.
To those that have a mild curiosity, it means in English: Many people have small pouches in their colons that bulge outward through weak spots, like an inner tube that pokes through weak places in a tire. Each pouch is called a diverticulum. Pouches (plural) are called diverticula. Some of you Latin nerds out there just went “well, duh!” The condition of having diverticula is called diverticulosis. About half of all all people over the age of 60 have diverticulosis. There you go.
The doctor recommended another colonoscopy in 10 years, so that was the good news. I hate to say that it was actually a pleasure and I’m going back next week, but that would be sick. lol
Thanks to my brother Pete, who video-taped the procedure. See link below
(I can't believe you actually are looking for that link)
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